- Get up at 6:00 a.m. at least 4 times a week to go walking/running for an hour.
- Be able to turn those walks into runs and run 3 miles in preparation for the mud race I signed up to do in August.
- Curb the late night snacking when I'm making lunches for myself and my husband.
- Take all my "measurements."
- Go to bed by 11:30 p.m.
Well. It's been a month and how have I done? I can tell you the first three weeks of my "new" routine it was like I'd been hit by a truck. I postponed writing this during that time for fear that I'd never try again, scare off anyone thinking of moving themselves from contemplation to action, and scar my posterity for life with my crazed rantings.
I was an emotional, crazy, grouchy, depressed wreck.
It felt like my hormones were completely out of whack. I HATED IT! My coworkers were concerned and kept asking me what was going on. They kept teasing me that I must be pregnant to be that up and down. To which I adamantly said no... you'd know it if I was pregnant. I'd be barfing up a storm and definitely not at work.
Don't believe me that I was completely losing it? Jeff asked me one day, "Are you breastfeeding again or what?" Yes. I was THAT out of control!!!
Exercising was the only thing I'd changed in my routine. I know it sounds completely illogical, since physical activity is supposed to bring a myriad of positive benefits like a clear thinking, more energy, less stress, etc. But it was having the exact opposite effect on me. Oh sure, for the first couple of hours after I got done, I felt great! Then I would crash. Hard!
But I kept at it. Somewhere in my DNA is this stupid "I made a commitment and I have to do the responsible thing" gene that comes out every once in awhile. I guess I'd gotten up enough days to exercise to kick this gene into gear. I really hate it sometimes.
So with the exception of the last week in June, I've gotten up at least four times to go on my early morning strolls. That week, I'd hit the high with my crazy, depressed, emotionally out of control feelings and decided enough was enough. I stopped getting up for five days, slept in, and felt like my old self again. Apparently my body was rebelling from me trying to trick it into being an early to bed early to rise type person instead of it's preferred night owl. Some days I just stroll along. Really slow. Other days, I run. Not three miles yet... that "I made a commitment and I have to do the responsible thing" gene hasn't quite overpowered the "I can't do this, give up" gene. Jeff's letting me use his Ipod with some upbeat music which should help with accomplishing goal #2 before my 5k mud race the end of August. Goal 1 and goal 2. Done. And going well, depending on how I do with goal 5.
Speaking of goal 5, I am amazed at how hard this transition has been for me to get used to. But, for the most part I've been to bed by 11:30 p.m. The days I stay up late? It is really, really hard to get up. Those are the days that Jeff usually kicks me until I sort of flop out of bed and catch myself before I hit the floor.
Now for the cookies. Er, I mean goal 3. I've actually done better than I thought with this one. Most days anyway. Minus last week when I made chocolate chip cookies. Urgh! Those darn cookies were so soft and delicious. Oh the shame! I don't even want to admit I ate at least two dozen cookies myself in the span of two days. But they looked so sad in the bag not being eaten. I had to. For the cookies.
I stopped making lunches at night to break my bad habit of snacking on everything. That helped immensely, but poor Jeff went to work without a lunch a lot more than normal. Food is still up and down for me. Some nights I do terrible and snack away while packing lunches. Other days I don't snack at all. Maybe someday I'll work up the courage to start a food journal and ensure we get all our fruits and veggies in. Food will always be hard for me though. I have some terrible past issues with food that I'm not quite ready to divulge here but I promised myself and my Heavenly Father that I wouldn't obsess over food like that ever again. As you might imagine that struggle has also had quite the opposite effect on me at times.
Which brings me to goal 4. I have not taken any measurements. I have no idea how much I weigh or how thick any parts of my are. I really don't want to know either. Again, from some of my past issues. What I want is to feel better in my clothes. To see some muscles and feel them as I'm walking and running. I must admit, the past week or so, I've been thinking "when do I get to see some of the results of sacrificing sleep for exercise?" Oh well. I'm trying to stay positive and tell myself, even if I'm never the size I was in high school (heck, I'd take my first year of marriage), I'm doing something that is healthy for my body and mind. Plus, my guilt for not exercising has dropped significantly!
As for the bonus goals. I did buy some sports bras. And after my mud race, I'll definitely have to buy some new running shoes.
Now if I could just muster up enough self-confidence and commitment to set some other personal goals to boost my parenting skills and spiritual health. I really need a lot of work.
