I'm bored

How could you be bored with a day like this?

Watch cartoons.

Eat breakfast.

Build a doll house. The instructions didn't say you had to be a structural engineer to build it.

Fight with your brother.

Eat lunch.

Watch Sesame Street.

Fight with your brother again.

Run through your new sprinkler.

Tell your mom it's cold and you're bored and that you want the pool put up instead, five minutes after she sets up the sprinkler.

Eat some Oreo's.

Get out the slip-n-slide.

Scream because your mom didn't realize the slip-n-slide was twisted, thus making it explode when the water came on.

Find the duct tape and fix the slip-n-slide.

Slide down the slip-n-slide.

Eat a Popsicle.

Watch cartoons.

Beg to go to the pool because you're bored. And it's hot. And because it's your birthday. You're five today so you get to do what you want.

Go to the pool.

Go down the slides at the pool.

Chill on the lounge chairs while eating Ritz crackers and fruit snacks.

Walk home.

Open another birthday present from David and Vickie.

Get a burger at In-n-Out.

Have a bath.

Get your pajamas on.

Open one last birthday present from mom and dad. New books.

Read your new Angelina Ballerina book.

Hugs and kisses and I love you's.

Then lights out.

Seriously? Where in the day was there time to be bored?

I want to be black

My parents may be the only people who laugh at this, but tonight Cole did something that I once did long, long ago.

He decided he wanted to be black.

Well, yellow. And green. And purple.

Let me explain.

When I was a little girl, I apparently wanted to be black. My mom found me covered from toe to tummy in permanent black marker! PERMANENT BLACK MARKER! My mom was horrified! I guess I'd been watching a Little House on the Prairie episode and one of the characters - who happened to be Black - was either treated poorly or was super nice... I can't remember. My mom figured I must have empathized with the Black character on the show and decided I wanted to be like him.

Needless to say, my mom scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. Until my skin was raw. But she said it was weeks before my legs went from a near solid black to pasty white again. Thank goodness, Cole hasn't tried to get the black Sharpies yet from the cupboard and picked washable markers to color his arm with.

But it still took a good scrubbing to get it off. Most of it anyway.

Starting tomorrow...

There's a health education theory called the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change. Better known as the Stages of Change Model.

Basically, this theory assesses a person's readiness to act on a new healthier behavior, and provides strategies, or processes of change to guide the person through the stages of change. In other words, you go through six stages anytime you make a behavior change:

1. Pre-contemplation (Not Ready). This is when you do not intend to make any action or change in the foreseeable future and may be unaware that your behavior is even a problem.
2. Contemplation (Getting Ready). You start to recognize that your behavior has a negative impact and begin to look at the pros and cons of your continued actions.
3. Preparation (Ready). In this stage, you intend to make a change in your behavior sometime in the immediate future and may even take small steps towards this change.
4. Action. Just like it sounds, you've taken action and made the behavior change.
5. Maintenance. This is the stage where you sustain your new behavior and work to prevent relapses.
6. Termination. I'm not sure anyone ever gets here, but if you do, it means you aren't tempted to slip back into your old habits at all.

I'm being blunt honest here, I fail miserably in my own field of health education. At least the nutrition and physical activity part. I kid you not when I say this, but I've been stuck in the contemplation stage - "yeah, I'm going to start exercising" - for over a year. Probably longer if I really think about it. And I work for the health department, live in one of the healthiest cities in Utah, have financial means available to me to do this, and just plain know better! And yet, here I stayed stuck in this foggy day dream that I was still as active, healthy, and skinny as I was in college. 

Up until the last three months or so, I was in denial about how fat I've become. I saw pictures of myself and thought it couldn't possibly be me in that body. The pudgy face, "relief society" arms swaying in the breeze, cankles, and post-baby pooch that keeps growing. I tried to run around with my kids and got so out of breathe and thought, what happened? I used to be able to run for HOURS every day... my body craved the sweat and burning lungs and calves during a good run. I've been in complete denial that I'm no longer the athletic, had-to-run-everyday, healthy, active, toned me that I once was.

I've made excuse after excuse. I'm too tired. I stay up too late. I'm not a morning person. I really don't want to miss my favorite T.V. show tonight. If I can't be at the same level as I was during my "peak" right now then I don't want to even try. I'm too busy. I have YW. I should be cleaning or doing the laundry or a million other things I never get to. It hurts to run. It won't work. I'm stressed out... my kids are driving me bonkers, work is too busy to take my 1/2 hour of paid exercise time, my family needs dinner, I got home late from work, and on and on. 

The biggest "excuses" I have though, is first, I don't have a dog and I don't live in the "country." Seriously. In all the years I ran, I had my dog, Sam right beside me, running through alfalfa fields, on dirt roads, and all over rural Cache Valley without the worry of traffic, stop lights, and people staring at you. A dog who had boundless energy and even after a good 5-7 mile run, he was ready for more the minute we got home. And second, that I'm a working mom who feels guilty for taking my kids to daycare everyday. I'm gone from them for 6-8 hours a day and feel like taking another hour when we get home for "me time" is the most selfish thing I could do. I can't possibly leave them again when I've been gone all day from them. If someone could take the guilt away from me, then I'd go exercise at night. 

Some of them are still fairly valid in my mind but they're excuses nonetheless. Excuses with solutions, even if those solutions require effort on my part. 

So there I sat in contemplation month after month after month. Telling myself, "starting tomorrow I'll go on that walk." And it never happened.

Then a group of friends said they wanted to do a mud race in August. In all the years I actually did run, I never signed up for a race. Something about an unresolved issue I have with my years as a soccer player in high school and having running used as punishment for everything we did or didn't do and never being able to beat the naturally talented runners on the team. Plus, I hate working out with others. I enjoyed my solitude when I ran, with the exception of my running mate (dog), Sam. I agreed to sign up, thinking it might be the kick I needed to get out of Contemplation and into Action.

It didn't work. Unless you count the fact that I began to seriously lay out a plan for how I'd get in daily exercise by convincing myself I'd have to get up at the crack of dawn to do it. Even if I'll never enjoy being a morning person!

Then a good friend invited me to join her June Challenge group. While I'm not doing all the prescribed workout and nutrition programs, I saw this as a way to get some support, encouragement, accountability from someone I trusted and felt safe with. This coupled with the mud race, and I made up my mind that it was finally time to take action. 

Two more weeks of serious Contemplation, and I set my alarm to get up at 6:00 a.m. so I could get an hour of walking in before Jeff left for work and the kids woke up. Of course, I soon learned my alarm clock is either broken or it's been so long since I had to get up on my own (since my alarm clock is my kids), that I'd forgotten how to set it. But I'd committed. I gave up on the alarm clock and set the alarm on my phone. Good thing Jeff's body tries to get him up as soon as the sun peaks over the mountains because I'd have slept right through it last week. I'd told Jeff the night before about what my plans were and he literally kicked me out of bed that first morning. I guess he was tired of hearing me complain under my breathe about how fat and gross I felt. That or he was mad my alarm had been going off for who knows how long :)

But I did it.

I got up early three times last week and walked. I did run a little bit, but my feet and calves were killing from wearing flip flops so much with no arch support. I hung my head in shame as all the "real runners" flew by me, sweat beaded up on their foreheads, and panting like someone who was really burning calories would. I felt humiliated, embarrassed, and wondering if this was even worth it. I don't even own a sports bra! For the record, I did not go braless but will be purchasing a sports bra real soon. When I made it back home and felt those fiery things you get in your muscles after working out (mainly in my rear end), I thought, hey maybe this is doing something. I felt so much more alert and energized than the days I simply let the kids get me up. Getting up sucks and Jeff pushed me out of bed every time, but I was glad I went. I got more done at work too but then struggled when I got home because my body wasn't used to getting up at 6:00 a.m. let alone going to bed when I need to in order to keep up my new behavior. 

As part of the June Challenge I joined with my friend, Sandy, I had to write down some goals and give them to her. Well, I've been thinking about goals all week. In my job, we are always writing SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-oriented) goals/objectives and it was really hard for me to distinguish between my "wish" goals for my body and what is realistic for me. I'd love to say, oh, lose 30 lbs, get my six-pack back, run 10 miles, and fit into a size 8 but it's not going to happen. Especially in our 30-day challenge. So to be honest with myself, I've come up with some SMART goals that I think will help me feel better about myself emotionally and physically. Hopefully they will blossom into some of those "wish" goals later.

1. Get up at 6:00 a.m. at least 4 times a week to go walking/running for an hour. 
2. Be able to turn those walks into runs and run 3 miles in preparation for the mud race I signed up to do in August.
3. Curb the late night snacking when I'm making lunches for myself and my husband. Notice I didn't say no snacking at all - baby steps here - but I know I consume unnecessary calories when I make lunches each night.
4. Take all my "measurements". I don't own a scale (long story as to why... let's just say for many years in high school and college food and I were mortal enemies and I was willing to do anything to myself to win that horrific battle I waged on myself). And I honestly have no clue how much I weigh, how many inches my waist, hips, thighs, and arms are, or what my "ideal" measurements even are! 
5. Go to bed by 11:30 p.m. (most nights anyway :)

And as a bonus, buy a sports bra. And maybe a new pair of shoes.

Wish me luck 'cause I've already failed rule #5 and 6:00 a.m. on my day off is going to come really early tomorrow.

Tball pictures

Pearl had her last Tball game tonight. Full details on my daily blog.

Cole, aka Assistant Coach, always does warm-up batting before getting kicked off the field when the game starts. He is so funny! He clenches his teeth, squats down, stares intently at the balls, holds this stance for 30 seconds, and then WACK! The kid is seriously as good as anyone on the team!

 

 

 

My mom and dad drove down to surprise us all! I didn't think they were going to make it. Pearl was able to have all four of her grandparents and Aunt Kimmy come to one of her games this season. A big thanks to our family for all their support. Pearl (and Cole) loved having them at the games.

Every time it was our team's turn to bat, Jeff would line up the kids in numerical order. The last kid was the "home run" hitter. He was lucky if the kids stayed put like this for more than three minutes. My job at the games was to get the next batter suited up and ready to go.

Pearl improved a lot this season. She could usually hit the ball coach's pitch style rather than using the tee.

 

 

The after-game cheer. And the kids attempting to tackle Jeff. It became the kids' favorite part of the entire game! One game, the entire other team joined in the tackling... with one mom yelling, "That's not your coach!"

 

 Trophies for a season well-played! Pearl kept telling us she wanted to show Uncle Kurtis her trophy.

 

Pearl told us today that after Tball, she's going to take swimming and then ballet. We're hoping to distract her with soccer instead of dance again but I'm afraid we might lose that battle.

Graduation Day

With my self-imposed blog diet - it didn't help with the actual diet idea - I've let a lot of events slip by without documenting them.

Time to get caught up.

Pearl had her school program last week. It's hard to believe all these kids are five and six years-old. Some are even graduating from the kindergarten program and won't be back next year. It's kind of sad. Most of them have been together at the daycare since they were babies. And it's weird to think Pearl will be one of the "big girls" next year.

They each drew a picture of themselves and their class.

Since Pearl's kindergarten is part of our daycare and most of the kids had been there since early in the morning, her teacher kept the program short and sweet. Each kid had a letter - which all together spelled out "kids love learning" - and recited something they learned in school that started with their letter. Pearl's was "O". Since she remembers EVERYTHING, she recited perfectly, "O is for orbit the path our planets take. It takes 365 days for the Earth to go around the sun."

 

Then Ms. Penny presented each kid a certificate and told a little bit about them. Ms. Penny told Pearl is friends with everyone in class and that she remembers everything, so she has to be careful about what she says in front of her. Pearl also read 38 books this year. Wow! 

 

Cole was a little pill. When he figured out he wasn't the center of attention, he decided to make himself at home smack dab in the middle of the program. Not even a piece of chocolate cake - Pearl said her class voted on what treat to have afterwards - could stop the whining, flailing around, and finger sucking. What's up with the finger sucking lately anyway? Ugh. So gross. 

Pearl has done so well this year in school. Her behavior was marked outstanding, she read 38 books, made lots of new friends - including a new boyfriend, Rylan (he's holding the letter "S" two kids to the left of Pearl), learned all kinds of things about animals and planets and habitats just to name a few, does simple math problems, identifies simple and complex patterns, and only lost one star on their behavior board the entire year! She is such a smart little girl. Sassy but smart. Just like her momma!