Christmas Day

Looks like Buddy told Santa we were on the Nice List. Or maybe it was pure bribery with Oreo cookies. They are his favorite, you know.

Dear Pearl and Cole,

Thank you for the rest stop. I found the cookies and reindeer dust. I hope you like your presents.
Merry Christmas,
Santa

Santa spoiled them rotten. Perhaps we need to proof-read the kids' letters to Santa next year.We got dinosaurs, new plates, bowls, and sippy cups, princesses and castles, fishing poles, balls, basketball hoop, a "man grill," books, and a pink 4-wheeler helmet. Which Pearl thought was certainly a mistake when she ripped open the paper and saw a baby wipes box. She kept telling us, this is Cole's present. But once we got the box opened, she knew exactly who it was really for. Cole was super jealous, because he knows exactly what a helmet means too. I didn't take as many pictures of the chaos and joy as I did last year. I wanted to just watch. Pearl's faces each time she opened her gifts were priceless. She was so excited! And when Cole wasn't crying or being overly sensitive from being sick, he seemed to enjoy the new toys too. Even with all the new plunder, Cole was more than happy to play with Grandma's train. And once we got to my parent's house for more gift opening (ridiculous, I tell you), the candy dish my Grandpa Jewkes made. Perfect for little fingers because they know just how to get the candy out. Karma I suppose for all the candy my Grandma let me have, even though my Mom hated it I'm sure.I had to put a picture of my brother, Jesse, and Cole together. Cole LOVES, LOVES, LOVES Jesse! He can even say his name. With all the grouchiness that comes with being sick, telling Cole we were going to see Jesse was seriously the one thing that made him smile and stop crying.One of these Christmases, these treasured ornaments (made by me, my Grandma Jewkes, and Jesse) will be on my tree. Even if I have to sneak a couple every year until my Mom figures out that half are missing! Don't worry siblings, I didn't take any of them. After all, it was Christmas.Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

We always spend Christmas Eve with Jeff's parents and his brother's family. It's a great way to get the kids all riled up about Santa coming and the presents they hope he brings.The "dinner maker" Pearl told Jeff I'd want. Funny. Jeff did surprise me with a new camera. Apparently he is tired of asking me where the little camera is. It's in my purse, duh! I think he was just pumped about it having a touch screen. Now to find the time to read the manual and figure out how to use this thing. Now that's my kind of dough!Pearl was shocked when she opened this gift.... exclaiming to Grandma and Grandpa, "How did you know that's exactly what I wanted?"Cole was sick again... has been for over a week now! He was sick last year too. Ugh. He tried to be a good sport about all the festivities but was just wasn't himself. Why do kids always get sick over the holidays? Jeff wanted one thing for Christmas. Socks. I had him fooled thinking he wasn't going to get any but surprise! He has more socks than he knows what to do with. Oh, he also wanted his Tablet back seeing as how I took it away from him a few days ago and wrapped it. He'd been playing with it ever since it came in the mail. I thought him and the kids were going to have to go to Angry Bird withdrawal therapy without it. Jeff's brother, Roy, gave him a "What every Aggie needs" pack. Bull Balm, Kleenex, and blue potatoes. It made us laugh.After spending time with Jeff's side of the family, we hurried over to my parent's house to visit with my Grandpa and Grandma Allen and my Grandpa Jewkes. I was so glad they were all there so we didn't have to run around to two more houses on Christmas Day. I fretted about what to get them for weeks, finally deciding last minute to make them a memory book. I wrote down all my favorite memories of them as a kid. I should have known with my crafting history that I was going to have a few bumps along the way. Like running out of glue and photo sticker things, almost running out of paper, and not having a printer. Luckily Jeff's mom came to the rescue and helped me finish them in the nick of time. I'm fairly certain I am still the favorite grandchild. I have to admit, I was kind of sad to not have Christmas morning at our own house. I really never thought I'd feel that way, but after last year, it was so nice to just be lazy and not run around crazy from place to place for a few hours here and there and then back home. Plus I just love our tree and the magic it brings!

Lights at Willard Bay

For the past few years, we've driven by the lights at Willard Bay and debated about whether we'd have time to stop before the basketball games. We've never stopped. Well, ok we stopped once. But when we saw it cost almost $10 to drive through a few hundred feet of lights we laughed and got back on the freeway.

But that was before kids.

Pearl has been hoping to stop and see all the lights for weeks. Jeff was in a very Christmasy mood and forked out the $10 for the festivities. As did about 100 other cars.

It was pretty fun and satisfied our almost weekly curiosity about the display. Even Cole pointed and jabbered at the lights. The only discernible words we could make out were neighs for a horse and lots of Santas. There were some pretty fun displays and had we had more time (and it wasn't sub-zero temperatures) we might have stopped at the little huts for hot chocolate and a wagon ride.

Good Riddance Day

Today is Good Riddance Day.

How do I know you ask? The Internet, well more specifically Facebook. So it must be true.

Apparently the idea is to say goodbye to your worst memory from 2011 once and for all. Well, considering I refrained from posting a "Festivus for the rest of us" post last week, ahem, more specifically an "Airing of Grievances," I couldn't pass up a second opportunity to tell 2011 to kiss my rear end.

Let's start with the Festivus rant that almost came. I was a grouch last week. A real grouch. Like worse than grinch-like. I won't go into details about what set me off but let's just say I was feeling emotionally done from the ENTIRE year's roller coaster ride. I was being a real ________ (you fill in the blank with a word that starts with a "b"). I was mean at home to Jeff and the kids. My coworkers could tell something was bugging me. I took a few hours off one day to do some Christmas shopping because one, I was having anxiety over those last minute gifts yet to be bought, and two, because I just couldn't take it anymore and needed a mental health break. On my way back from said shopping excursion, I stopped by WinCo to buy Jeff some of these Christmas gummy bears that only WinCo sells as a way of saying sorry for being a ________ (insert same "b" word here). I almost cried right there in the bulk section of the store when those gummy bears were the one single barrel that was empty. I called Jeff almost in tears promising him I was going to try to be "sweet and kind" (inside joke) but the gummy bears were nowhere to be found. He just laughed and said with that, all was forgiven. Whew. That same night, on our way home from one of the three trips back and forth to Logan that week, I blabbered to Jeff for over an hour about how I was feeling. Now, you can all imagine how excited he was to listen to his "pleasant" wife's rants at 11 p.m., but he actually agreed with everything I was saying and validated that all my emotions were completely in line! Most of them anyway.

And that's where the Festivus celebration comes into play. Jeff suggested we give everyone a Festivus card and air our grievances. Sadly (for us or them, I'm not sure) we came up with something for everyone. We almost went through with it too, until we realized we weren't ready to deal with the potential crying if someone didn't get the whole Festivus airing of grievances thing.

So no Festivus post. But now that I can say good riddance to 2011, I'm doing it! I hope I don't hurt any one's feelings or divulge too much of my family's personal saga, but here's good riddance to:

*Four deaths in the family in two months (all on my Dad's side of the family)
*Two broken marriages
*Hurt feelings, guilt, betrayal, confusion, fear, and the worst rage I've ever felt (and want to feel) in my life
*A text message that I will never forget
*Arrests, jail, court appearances, sentencings
*Emergency surgery
*Two suicide attempts, one nearly changed everything
*Sassy, defiant, trying, strong-willed, and exhausting children
*102 mph wind storm
*Emotions I never thought possible
*Turning down a job three times
*Wondering if my Grandma has enough fight left to win another battle of clinical depression and severe anxiety
*Seeing more wicked, sadness, and evil in this world than I ever wanted to imagine and knowing that my family's problems are no bigger or worse than anyone else

I can't even begin to describe the wear and tear from this year on me, my family, my marriage. I've drank more Mt. Dew (aka Mormon's liquor) and sworn more this year than I have in all the rest of the 30 years I've been on this planet combined! At one point I debated about doing a play-by-play account of monthly, if not weekly additions to the saga of 2011 but for your sake and for the sake of my posterity, I refrained. I had to laugh when Jeff and I went to tithing settlement a few weeks ago and the Bishop looked at our tithing for the year and said with a surprised look in his voice, "The Lord has been very good to you this year." We both turned and looked at each with a roll of our eyes. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful I don't have to list major money struggles on my good riddance list but it hasn't been easy. Had it not been for two little pip-squeaks who needed to eat or be changed or entertained, I probably would have crawled into a black hole and never come out. It still doesn't excuse my behavior at times, but forgive me for being insensitive, complainy, sharp, and just plain rude.

But you know what, I survived. Barely. I think Jeff and I are closer because of everything. There were a lot of good things about 2011 too. It sounds cheesy but I am so grateful I keep a blog, well two blogs, because those posts are filled with funnies, happy memories, smiling children, and growing-up pains. They remind me that not everything was bad. Without them though, I'm afraid I would only remember the crap that seemed to encompass so much. I know my problems are no bigger or worse than anyone else's. I know there was a lot to be grateful for. I know I have a whole bunch of happy memories from this year that more than make up for any bad ones. I know everyone struggles. I know that if given the choice, I'd keep my own trials over someone else's. But this is a good riddance post and I'm allowed to say goodbye to everything craptastic that happened.

Let's just end with a wish and prayer that 2012 is less chaotic than 2011. Good riddance!

(And if you have no clue what Festivus or the Airing of Grievances is all about, really! Read about it and then watch the Seinfeld episode)

Will there ever come a day.....

Will there ever come a day when I can leave the room for 10.5 seconds to pee without Cole trying to open the bathroom door or once inside, barge his way back out OR put the dishes in the dishwasher OR get dressed OR as was the case this time, check to make sure my husband hadn't fallen off the ladder or chainsawed his foot off while trying to get more of our wind storm-damaged pine tree cut down without coming back to find this?I really, really hate popcorn.

(The picture serves no justice to the millions of crumbled popcorn kernels scattered on the floor, stuffed in between the couch cushions, sticking to the footstool, and in Cole's hair.)