I know this is totally worldly but I'm hoping it will avoid the emails and phone calls from my mom, mother-in-law, and Santa Claus. The first ever posting of our Christmas Wish List, as best I can remember and think of anyway. We ran to the store tonight and had Pearl take some pictures of what she wanted for Christmas so we could send the pictures to Santa Claus. Ok, so I was really just trying to get her distracted so we could finally leave... Cole was hungry and in no mood for window shopping. It didn't last long but here were the few pictures I found on the camera.
Last year Pearl stopped opening presents because she was so disappointed that she didn't get any toys that this year, Santa better step it up big time and get her something off her list! Hint to the grandmas... Santa will be bringing her some Toy Story figures so ex-na on that idea. Here's some other things she has said she wants:
*Pink cowgirl boots (size 8)
*4 wheeler or a jeep... she can't decide
*Dress up stuff (princesses, doctor, etc)
*Strawberry "cake short" dolls
*Toy Story figures
*Barbies (ughhh... please no!)
*Grocery store, cash register, and shopping cart
*Melissa & Doug cupcakes, ice cream, birthday party cake, or pizza play food
*Art stuff
*Movies (Toy Story 2... Santa is bringing Toy Story 3.... Mulan, Pocahontas, Despicable Me, etc)
*Baby doll stuff
*Games (I thought she might like Cooties, Ants in the Pants, Go Fish)
*Books
As for Cole, he was more interested in eating the ads than looking around for toys. Here's his wish list:
*Warm, fleece footed jammies (size 9 months)
*Onesies... short and long sleeved (we LOVE Carter's brand... size 9 months)
*Toys of any kind
*Bath toys
*Books
Me:
*This candle pillar holder (well a set of two) from Pottery Barn
*Frames so I can finally hang up my family photos!
*Gift certificate to get some new clothes... casual, work, shoes... I seriously need some help in the wardrobe department
*Massage
*Maid service... I am SERIOUS!
*My formally hot life book by Stephanie Dolgoff
*Food processor
*New throw pillows for the couches
I really have no clue what Jeff wants! But here are some ideas:
*USU football helmet... yes, an actual helmet
*New dress/work shirts so he's sytlin' as Pearl says (neck size 16 inches... NOT thick shirts though!)
*Shoes... or more realistically a gift certificate to the Nike store
*Some sort of manly power tool
*Shed next to the garage
*4 wheeler*Hardwood floors... ok so I think I'm hitting the unrealistic stuff now!
Worldy, huh? Here's hoping we're on the "good list" and this post makes it to the North Pole!
I'm not sure if it was a compliment or not when Pearl told me today, "Mom, I like your shirt. You look like a pirate." Maybe I should rethink my buying decisions when I find something on 75% clearance.
And speaking of fashion, we had a near fashion disaster today... at least in Pearl's eyes. When I picked her up from school she was wailing about her dress. She told me Ty had spit on her dress and got it all wet. Even after I explained that it would dry, we could change her clothes when we got home, and I'd even blow dry it with the hair dryer, she told me, "No, Mom! It's ruined FOREVER!!!"
Oh the drama.
I took a mental health day from work today. I needed it. Bad.
The last three weeks have been a constant struggle to not totally lose it. I've felt like I could have a panic attack at any moment. I've been so anxious at work, at home, everywhere. I've had way too many projects at work, worked way too many hours, gotten home way too late, and then stayed up way too late or been woke up by one or both kids way too many times.
I'm on the verge of a stay in the mental hospital.
This might sound like a cop-out but I really feel like I have my struggle with the "baby blues" and postpartum issues months after I have a baby. I feel great the first 3-4 months but just like with Pearl, I remember starting to get emotional and irrational about this time. It seems like once my "transition back to work" period is up and the new baby thing has worn off and been forgotten, that's when I start to loose it. This last month has been especially hard. I don't know how to explain it other than feeling like you could cry, scream, shake, kill someone, or pass out all at the same time. If you've never truly experienced anxiety, you just won't get it. It's like you can't shut down and yet that's how you feel... shut down, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. It really sucks.
On top of that, Pearl has just about pushed me over the edge. Whoever said "terrible two's" must not have made it to the three's. They are WAY, WAY worse! She throws a fit over everything! We fight getting ready for the day, on the way to school, when I drop her off, when I pick her up, on the way home from school, when we get home, getting ready for dinner, getting ready for bed, etc, etc, etc. She yells, I yell, Jeff yells. And oh the whining and crying! Oh my gosh! It drives me totally insane!!! I have no clue what to do about it either! I feel so stupid saying this but I have no idea how to discipline that kid. Sometimes one thing works but then the next tantrum it doesn't. Pearl refuses to listen and obey anything we tell her until all of us are about to kill each other. She has a personality that is so stubborn, defiant, and independent and yet there is this really sensitive side to her too. I'm so afraid I'm going to damage her little spirit because I can't stay in control... I was in tears about it on Tuesday after I completely lost it with her after she refused to get ready so I could get to work. I feel like all I've been doing lately is ranting and raving about how horrible she is. Which makes me feel even worse! I really don't know what to do with her. If she's like this at three what in the world will the teen years be like? Please, all you wonderful, patient moms out there what do we do? I love, love, love her, I really do. I just can't take the whining, crying, screaming, tantrums, telling me no, crusty looks, anymore.
I need something new. I'm too big of a chicken to change the background of my blog, in the fear of losing my life's history for the past two years, so I figured a new title would a good start. My problem is I'm not very creative when it comes to these sorts of things. And our last name is pretty boring so it doesn't have anything to really play off of. Plus I don't want to have our last name in the title anyway... something about potential Internet weirdos out there.
I came up with a few ideas but really, people, help me please!
- Life with a True Aggie
- True Aggies x 4
- My Formally Hot Life - ok so this is technically plagiarism because there is a book I will read someday called this but it seems so fitting!
- I used to be cool
- Ramblings of a Mom on the Edge
Well that's it for ideas. Pathetic huh? I should probably fess up and name my blog something that truly fits my posts like... ramblings of a mom on edge, who can't keep her house or office clean, boarding a nervous breakdown, with two cute but strong willed children and husband in tow... but that seems a bit much. Any suggestions?
Jeff and I had a "nooner" today... and NO it is not what you're thinking.
We had a lunch date. With a room full of Aggie testosterone. I think I was one of three females in attendance. Jeff, as you well know, is a devoted USU fan. A fanatic really. He spends hours pouring over the Aggie boards listening to all the details and insider info on football and basketball. We fork over all our extra money to the university just so we can then drive to Logan at least 30 times from September to March and watch sports, freezing our tailends off and complaining about how cold Logan is. He also goes to all the coaches luncheons where he gets to socialize with other crazed Aggie fans and avoid yet another boring sandwich I'd make him for lunch. But he loves every second of it. And that's where our "nooner" came in to play today. Jeff asked me last night if I wanted to go. I usually turn him down for these kind of things but since I didn't want to make just one lunch, I took him up on the offer. He looked at me a bit puzzled and said something to the effect that I could care less about football. To which I replied back, "Yes, true. But I love you and you love football."
And so we went together. I felt all sneaky, leaving both kids at daycare (hoping that Cole would survive without me until I got back to work... didn't happen... he was starving when I got back, hence pictures of us at the USU vs. BYU football game instead of us on a date today) and running out for a long lunch. The food was yummy - much better than any sandwich I'd have come up with. There were plenty of fanatics just like my husband and it suddenly became clear to me why Jeff goes to these things. However, I am in dire need of some Football Lingo 101 if I'm going to fit in with this crowd. What the heck is a FBS school anyway? And I thought only basketball had a guard. 
So our little "nooner" got me thinking, are dates really THAT big of a deal in marriage? I think this is the first date we've been on without one of our kids in well, almost a year! Pathetic. In our eight years of marriage, we've probably gone on a handful of actual dates together - not counting Aggie basketball games. Most of the time I hardly notice or care. But then should I? We've taken that Marriage and Family Relations Sunday School class at least five times since we've been married - never once finishing the entire thing because we moved, had a baby, got put in Primary, etc - and they always talk about dating and courtship in marriage. And every time we have that lesson Jeff and I go home thinking, have we missed the boat on this one? Should we be dating? It seems like all the "older" married couples religiously go on weekly dates but everyone closer to our age doesn't. I don't know if it's just the drudgery of everyday life, money, kids or what but we've never really been big on going on dates since we've been married. I don't know as if we've felt cheated by this or not either... we seem to be ok. But then again I got to thinking doe we really know each other's hopes, dreams, fears? Would we communicate better during those hard times if we made time for just us more often?
At any rate, I actually looked up the lesson that talks about nurturing love and friendship in a marriage to see if it was really counsel from church leaders or just our teachers trying to make us feel guilty. Guess it's the real deal. The lesson says:
- “Friendship is … a vital and wonderful part of courtship and marriage. A relationship between a man and a woman that begins with friendship and then ripens into romance and eventually marriage will usually become an enduring, eternal friendship. Nothing is more inspiring in today’s world of easily dissolved marriages than to observe a husband and wife quietly appreciating and enjoying each other’s friendship year in and year out as they experience together the blessings and trials of mortality” (Elder Marlin K. Jensen of the Seventy in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 81; or Ensign, May 1999, 64).
- One of the less obvious but more significant reasons for divorce is “the lack of a constant enrichment in marriage, … an absence of that something extra which makes it precious, special, and wonderful, when it is also drudgery, difficult, and dull.” He counseled: “In the enriching of marriage the big things are the little things. It is a constant appreciation for each other and a thoughtful demonstration of gratitude. It is the encouraging and the helping of each other to grow. Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine” (President James E. Faust in Conference Report, Oct. 1977, 13–14; or Ensign, Nov. 1977, 10–11).
- “Keep your courtship alive. Make time to do things together—just the two of you. As important as it is to be with the children as a family, you need regular weekly time alone together. Scheduling it will let your children know that you feel that your marriage is so important that you need to nurture it. That takes commitment, planning, and scheduling” (Elder Joe J. Christensen of the Seventy in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 86; or Ensign, May 1995, 65).
Great. I guess I should feel guilty for not feeling guilty about the whole dating thing. So, I'm curious. What do you all think about courtship during marriage? Are we the only ones who struggle with this? Do you really think marriages suffer without it? Is it really something that you have to do every week? How do you keep your courtship alive?
Last year Pearl stopped opening presents because she was so disappointed that she didn't get any toys that this year, Santa better step it up big time and get her something off her list! Hint to the grandmas... Santa will be bringing her some Toy Story figures so ex-na on that idea. Here's some other things she has said she wants:
*Warm, fleece footed jammies (size 9 months)
