Never in a million years

Never in a million years (maybe that's exaggerating just a bit) did Jeff think he'd live past 30. He always joked that life ended at 30 and after the big one, he'd be living on borrowed time. He even planned out his own funeral one time when he was bored at church (which BTW he needs to update) so I'd know exactly what songs he wanted played and who to talk. I'm pretty sure that 99% of the time he was joking but then again, planning out your own funeral? Well, today he made it to 31 (Happy Birthday sweets!) and since he is now officially past the death birthday, he might as well keep going for another 70 years or so. Rather than make all the ladies out there jealous with 31 reasons why Jeff is the best husband, dad, and friend ever, I thought I'd share a blog entry about "connecting with your spouse" that I stumbled upon the other day which made me think of him.

Basically the writer admits that her two-year-old ends up in their bed each morning (sound familiar?) and wondering what other couples do to stay connected. Minus the comments about bed sharing with your child, everyone's suggestions reminded me of a time when I too freaked out about not being connected with Jeff. When we got engaged I went into panic mode because we really had nothing in common as far as hobbies go. I'm sure some lesson in Relief Society got me all worked up about this and when I told Jeff he sort of laughed. I was dead serious though and figured our marriage was doomed unless we came up with a hobby we could enjoy together. After a series of suggestions like watching ESPN, me baking cookies and Jeff eating them, going to our kids' sporting events, and grabbing my butt (yes, that was a suggestion by Jeff), I burst into tears! Come to find out after I'd calmed down a bit Jeff had asked one of our close family friends and member of our student ward bishopric what he and his wife did together that could count as a hobby. Bro. Hyde's response was going to watch their boys' football, basketball, and baseball games. Great, another suggestion that a hobby could be watching your kids' games. While a very worthwhile activity, one that we both hope happens (come on athletic genes!), it wasn't the magical answer I was looking for.

Needless to say we are still married and trying to figure out what hobbies we share, which at this point is basically nothing... although I did finally read "Band of Brothers" that Jeff kept bugging me about. We did the whole tennis thing a few summers ago (before I had a baby and got completely out of shape) but after much frustration trying to teach me how to serve and some taunting on my part which lead to a nice, perfectly round, tennis ball-sized bruise on my butt cheek, we haven't been back to the court since. I love to blog, Jeff hates it (remember the rock star post?), Jeff loves Mafia Wars and FarmTown and I won't even sign up for them. Before Pearl came along at least we sat together - Jeff glued to a football or basketball game on the couch and I stitching on the love seat, but we still didn't "connect" with those deep, life-altering conversations I had always imagined as the perfect marriage when we were dating. Heck, we don't even go on dates together! Unless watching Jeff garden counts or following him along in the grocery store (Jeff does all the grocery shopping 'cause I hate it and spend way too much $$$), I'm afraid our hobbyless marriage will continue. Are we doomed? What do you do to stay connected with your spouse?

A small disclaimer... in no way is this post intended to sound like I am unhappy or distraught over not having a hobby - I mean we have made it 7 years this Saturday and laugh together almost every single day so we must be doing ok. When I read that blog entry I laughed and emailed it to Jeff with a silly note about whether he remembered how dumb I must have sounded when we were engaged (which he did)! But I'll take any and all suggestions for hobbies that ensure a marriage with a fairytale ending!