Ditto house

We get asked all the time where we live. We explain it's right across the street from "the bubble" and next to "the house that decorates for every holiday." But people can't place it until they ask,
 "Wait. Are you the Ditto house?"

Yep. That's us.

The funny thing about it is, our neighbors - the ones who decorate for every holiday (EVERY holiday) - are the ones who bought the sign and hang it for every holiday. And it's sign #2. The first one got ripped to shreds after the windstorm last year. 

We've watched dozens of cars slow down, point, laugh, tap on the person sitting next to them to look, and U-turn to get a picture or a second look. It's quite entertaining for us. But this was a first. Getting tagged in some random stranger's Facebook post and watching complete strangers post about how much our house makes them giggle. 

Stranger #1: "Best decorations in (insert our city)!"

Stranger #2: "I just saw that too & thought it was hilarious!"

Stranger #3: "Ha! That's awesome!"

Me: "Hey that's my house!"

Stranger #4: Jenny - I made my husband U-turn TWICE!!!! with fighting kids in the car, late to a party just to see this again! Thank you for making my entire holiday season, I laughed the whole way to (insert neighboring city's name). Plus you can probably leave it up all year."

Jeff: "We do. It will be up for valentines, July 4th, Halloween."

Stranger #5: I saw it first on Halloween and had the same reaction! It's great!"

Stranger #6: "That's awesome!"

So yeah. We're the ditto house. 

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl

It seems a little sad to be posting about this today. Given that Coach Gary Andersen - Jeff's man crush - has resigned to coach at Wisconsin. Pfff. What do the Badgers have over the Aggies? 

Sigh. The shock, heartbreak, anger, and unease about the future of Aggie football have dominated our household this week. Especially given Coach A's undying loyalty to USU just days ago.

But that's for another post. And as Jeff pointed out, with the appointment of Matt Wells (Offensive Coordinator under Coach A), life has been restored. 

After an unbelievable season with 10 wins, there was no way Jeff was missing the Aggies' bowl game. Even if it meant freezing our "A"s off in Boise, Idaho. 

And by freezing, I mean fah-reez-ing!!! My feet hurt so bad after the game I thought I'd have frostbite on my toes. Thank goodness we're moving to the Mountain West Conference next season because their bowl games are places that are warm in December... like Vegas and San Diego. Oh please let us go to San Diego!!!

We went with some friends that we haven't hung out with in years. I must admit, I was a tad hesitant about going with another couple... it's just not what we normally do. But it was a blast! We didn't have to drive, we yapped on and on and on for four hours there and four hours back almost non-stop (it's obvious we don't get out much with other adults), and we didn't have to decide where to go for dinner. 

We went to the pre-game potato lunch, bulking up on our carbs and Aggie excitement. Yum. Wish I would have had that warm potato about half-time when I couldn't feel my fingers or nose anymore. 

Pre-victory picture. Jeff was dying that I wanted a picture... he was ready for the game to FINALLY get started. He's like a kid on Christmas morning!

Here comes the Aggies to the cheers of thousands and thousands of our closest Aggie friends. It was awesome. Everywhere we went - PF Changs for dinner, gas stations along the way, and the breakfast buffet at the hotel - we were surrounded by Aggie fans decked out in USU apparel.

 

To be blunt honest, the game sucked. I was almost ready to throw in the towel and go sit in the bathroom where it was actually warm until the game was over. But I persisted through the cold, hoping they'd finally start to get some touchdowns. And then the 4th quarter happened. Finally, the Aggies we'd watched all season started to play. Boom! 41-15 victory over the Toledo Rockets. 

 

Post game victory picture. Jeff was more excited about this picture than the pre-victory one. Me? I was too cold to smile. 

Alesha and Kof-dog. Love this picture of Alesha all bundled up. You would have thought she'd had stayed warm with all those layers.

I followed Jeff down to the "smurf turf" after the game and basically followed him around as he soaked in the victory. I found it hilarious that the trophy was filled with Idaho potatoes.

"I don't like you guys, I love ya!" (Please don't leave Coach) And out of the way, burly, bearded man with a security vest.

Chuckie!!!!

I don't know who this guy is but Jeff was excited to see him. 

Thanks aggiefan33 (aka, Jeff) for getting me a season ticket this year and for taking me to Boise. Finally, a reason to sit outside at Romney Stadium in the cold! It's literally been a once in a lifetime season.

Go Aggies!

--- And a huge thank you to my in-laws who offered to watch the kids (all three of them) for the weekend ----

New gig

I got a new job at work. A promotion really. In the same program at the health department that I've been in for the last 4+ years. It's kind of a surprise because I didn't tell very many people I was applying for it.

My official title is Injury Prevention Coordinator. (I think)

I get a nice raise. And I get to still work with my awesome colleagues and friends, doing the same gory, gruesome, sad, always changing, hilarious, and serious work of preventing violence and injury.

I get to learn new things. Be in charge of things I've always just had a hand in before. I get to try out official management stuff like supervising staff. Maybe do some in-state traveling and take advantage of that with mini family vacations to scenic Utah I'd never go to otherwise.

But it comes at a cost too.

I have to let go of some of the things I enjoy and that I'm really good at to learn new tasks that I'm not so good at yet. I have to do more of the bureaucratic nonsense that drives me bonkers at times. And probably go to more meetings. Ok, I like going to meetings.

I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. Which is both good and bad.

And I have to go back to work full-time.

Now before you judge, I can promise you I have gone the gamete of emotions, thoughts, and scenarios with this decision. 

Money was a big incentive. For the first time in my life, I wanted a job because of the money. It sounds horrible. And selfish. And worldly. But... for the past month + I've been taking on several tasks that our previous coordinator was working on, all because deadlines come whether you have enough staff support or not. It's been hard. And stressful. And I felt like I should be compensated for all the work I have been doing and did previously that's not in my job description... which is a lot. I knew hiring someone else wouldn't lessen my workload until they had a chance to figure out our complex program so I'd still be doing double duty for several months. 

Along with money, I know we aren't poor. But we definitely aren't rich either. Things are tight. I don't want to be wealthy but doubling my current salary won't suck either. Pearl is thrilled that we should be able to afford to put her back in dance lessons again. It won't be such a stretch to buy the kids new shoes or clothes when they need them. And maybe we can fix the cracks in the floors and walls in our 102 year old house. Growing up, I watched my parents stress and struggle financially. Jeff did the same. I never want my kids to fear asking for lunch money because they know we don't have it. My parents are some of the most honest, hardworking people I know. But it wasn't and still isn't easy for them. 

I made a decision a long time ago that I wanted Jeff to be a Dad. What I mean is, my mom worked while I was growing up... sometimes outside of the home and for many years, babysitting inside our home. She always told me the reason she worked was so my Dad had the chance to be a dad. A dad who was involved in his kids' lives. A dad who was always home by 5:15 to help me with my math. A dad who never in all the years of my playing soccer, missed a game or tournament. A dad whom I love and respect and saw every night because he didn't have to work two or three jobs so my mom could stay at home. That's what I want for Jeff. And I don't want to place financial strain on our marriage. I know that would be a very difficult thing for us and it's not worth it to me.

So yeah. Money was a big reason I said yes to the job offer.

I've also turned down many professional opportunities and jobs to stay at home more. Or attempt to stay at home more... it never felt like I actually worked just part-time. They were hard to give up and say no to. Do I regret those decisions? No way. I love being a mom and despite my complaining, I really do like to do all the wife/mom stuff. This time around, I just felt like it was ok either way. I never felt a strong impression to not accept the job offer nor did I feel a strong impression to take it either. It was sort of like an "it's up to you" kind of an answer. Although I did say a prayer that if it wasn't ok for me to take the job, that I wouldn't be offered it in the first place. I really couldn't go through turning down the same job three times again.

Of course, I am fully aware that I may just be at a spiritual low and horribly out of tune with the Spirit and going to burn in Hell too. That thought crosses my mind at least daily. 

See, I've gone through all the emotions, thoughts, and scenarios with this decision. 

I kind of felt like this was a safe time to move up and take on some of the "big girl" tasks I've successfully avoided taking full responsibility for while being employed at the health department for the last nine years. I'm sure there will be plenty of times when I think, "what did I get myself into?" but then again, I already do think that at times!

But I haven't worked full-time since I had Pearl. I like having my Fridays off to clean, do laundry, and watch cartoons with my kids. It's a whole heck of a lot happier in our household when we don't have to get up and be somewhere by 9 a.m.!!! But a lot of my coworkers work full-time and their kids aren't totally scarred for life. I always think, what gives me the right to think I deserve to not work full time over them?

It's going to be really hard for me to figure out a good routine and schedule trying to squeeze 40 hours of work into the week instead of coming and going as I pleased. And stay sane during the process. I'm sure dinner time will be complete and utter chaos... as we've already been getting home after 5 p.m. the past few weeks and everyone is starving and there's no food and no time to cook a nice meal. But I'm hoping that maybe this will help us get a better morning routine because we've got to be out the door sooner than whenever the kids decide they are sick of cartoons and I'm sick of yelling at them to get dressed and comb their hair and brush their teeth and put their shoes back on. I'm not a morning person.

I know things are going to be more stressful until I figure this out. Church responsibilities, kids, husband, household duties, and taking the dog on her nightly walks eat away at my time as it is now and now I'm giving up another 10 hours or so to my desk and stacks and stacks of papers. I'm sure I will feel like I'm running around with my hair on fire. And staying up ridiculously late like tonight. Well, that's pretty normal.

But the hardest part about taking this new gig was that I made my sweet Pearl cry when I told her we had to go to school on Fridays. She cried. Cried! And asked me why. It broke my heart and I am in tears typing this. Jeff and I talked to her about how this was a good thing for our family. She was still hysterical until I said we could pay for dance lessons again. Then she was completely 100% over it. Hopefully it stays that way when Friday comes and goes and she didn't get to watch cartoons all day.

I feel guilty for not being a stay at home mom. I feel guilty for working. I feel guilty for wanting to work in a profession of my choice. I feel guilty that my kids go to daycare and that I've probably scared them for life because of it. I feel guilty for yelling at my kids and being impatient and for not being the mom/wife that Pinterest and all those mommy blogs portray as the "norm" who make their own pasta, grow chickens, knit, have a photography business on the side, have an immaculate house, throw elaborate parties with a theme and matching decorations, who can cook gourmet meals for less than 5 cents a day, coupon clip and save thousands of dollars a year, have a five year supply of toothpaste because they got a good deal, all while finding time to eat nothing but the most healthy, raw foods and exericise two hours a day so they can look sleek, sexy, toned, and irrestible to their more than perfect and romantic husband. 

See what I mean?

I can't win. 

Being a mom has changed everything. Everything. I've never felt so much joy, heartache, frustration, sadness, and guilt all at the same time. I always feel inadequate and guilty for things I do or don't do. You'd be amazed at the comments people make to me because I choose to work, especially because I live in Utah and I'm LDS (aka, Mormon). For a variety of reasons... not all listed in this longer blog post than I originally intended.

But I've made my decision. I feel at peace with it. For today. It will open up new opportunities for me professionally and for me and my family personally. Will I/we struggle? I'm certain of it. Will it be worth the struggle. I'm hopeful it will be.

And let's face it, a raise doesn't suck.

Santa sure knows a lot about us

Saturday we had three choices.

Go to the Ward Christmas Party and see Santa. And not cook dinner.

Stay home and more than likely fight. And go to the grocery store.

Or go to Logan for the USU men's basketball game and cheer on Danny Berger (who nearly died four days ago after his heat suddenly stopped at a practice). And go out to eat.

Two options resulted in little to no food choices for the remaining part of the weekend. And each kid wanted something different. 

So we split.

Girls went to the Christmas Party and boys headed to Logan to see "Big Boo" as Cole calls him. And no one went to the grocery store.

I was very impressed with the decor. Snowflakes made out of sparkly Popsicle sticks! Seriously. Stop the cuteness! I think I could even handle those. 

Pearl on the other hand was very impressed by Santa's knowledge of our family. Except for the slight mishap with her name... Santa was convinced her name was "Pickles" and not Pearl. That got a good giggle out of her! She told me afterward that Buddy the Elf must be going back to report to Santa every night because, "Santa sure knows a lot about us!"

When Santa asked Pearl what she wanted for Christmas, she eagerly told him, "An American doll and girl Legos." At least she is consistent... she's been asking for those two items for months. And is quick to remind us that Santa didn't bring her an American Girl doll last year and that she wants the REAL American Girl dolls. 

I hope Santa was taking notes.

It felt like home

This is random but I love this picture of Blu on our walk. I'd just stumbled upon a little gem of a trail not too far from our house. One with no "No dogs allowed" or "Dogs must be on a leash" signs. One with room to run. And think. And daydream.

For a second, I thought I was here. 

Fifteen again, running with my dog, Sam. In the open fields of North Logan. With no one around me except pheasants and birds and my dog. 

I miss the quiet. I miss the open spaces. I miss Cache Valley. 

It felt like home.