I only turned my back for a few minutes.
Fine. Three hours.
But only because I was determined to finish out my week of meal planning, thanks to the OBB Cookbook obsession I've recently had, and make their homemade lasagna and bread sticks from scratch... sauce and all and I didn't realize I'd be spending my entire evening using every single pot and pan in our kitchen to make Jeff a non-lasagna-soup as he calls my usual lasagna for dinner. Whew. Breathe.
Anyway, it was just a few minutes. But those few minutes taught me a very valuable lesson.
There are MAJOR differences between the X and Y chromosomes. Major. Like in BIG TIME differences. With Pearl, we never had to worry about actually using all those safety plugs and cupboard locks. She just didn't get into mischief. It's an entirely different story with Fern.
It seems innocent enough at the beginning. Only a few visible cups, bowls, and chip clips scattered on the kitchen floor.
But then a laundry basket full of stinky clothes is spied down the hall.
Once the dirty laundry is scattered all over the hallway, it's onto Pearl's room. Cole's absolute, most favorite spot in the entire house. Seriously. If we can't find him, he's always hiding somewhere in her room. Tugging on her Princess ribbons, dumping out all the Memory games, puzzles, and books, sucking on Baby Emmie's face, and eating whatever crumbs he can find back there. 
Good thing I was almost done with the laundry at this point. Heaven knows what fun it would have been to resort all the clothes again! I love this shot because if you look really closely, you can see Cole start to be-line it back to the laundry after I drug him back to the kitchen hoping he'd stay put there for awhile.
It didn't work. 
And now he's found a partner in crime.
That sweet, innocent face will only get so far with me, buddy-boy. Fine. I melt every time I look into those blue eyes. And he knows it.
Fast forward another three hours, after I've done dishes for 45 minutes (not to mention the time I spent picking up the mess Cole previously left behind from earlier in the day) because I know how annoyed Jeff is that my new desire to cook every night means a pile of dishes in the sink - I need some one-pot wonder recipes - and we start a path of destruction all over again. Thank heavens it was contained to a single drawer in the kitchen this time.
Did I mention Cole had Kool-aid with his dinner and was buzzing, literally buzzing, at this point? Yeah, it's bedtime!
I wonder which plate will make the most noise when I bang it on the floor?
Yep, this one does. Of course the spatula, metal cup, and plastic bowls are also good options for creating as much noise as possible. 
It looks like I'll be making a trip to the store to buy every cupboard lock and safety clip I can find.
Just remind on those days when I'm tired of picking up all the messes, that I said he was totally worth it.
I glanced down (and up) at two things this week that made me pause. One of those really, long pauses where you see your whole life flash before your eyes. Ok, so maybe not your whole life. And I thought, has it really come to this? Dust and cobwebs? 
Gross. I can't believe I actually posted those pictures.
I'd like to say that thick layer of dead skin (Isn't that what you learn dust mostly is when you're in third grade?) is sitting there because I spend all my time gently teaching my children to be self-sufficient, perfect little beings but it's not. I yell at my kids, lose my patience a hundred zillion times a day, and let them watch T.V. more than I want to admit. If you asked Pearl what my best words are she'd probably say, "Just a minute!"
I'd like to say those thick cobwebs are there because I spend all my free time working out, perfecting my photography, turning some random crafty hobby into a booming bloggy business, taking my children to the park everyday, refinishing old furniture, saving thousands in grocery bills because I'm a coupon-clipping-deal-savvy-extraordinaire, and cooking gourmet meals for my family (I'm exaggerating!!!). But it's not. I'm flabby, can't fit into 3/4 of the clothes in my closet, and haven't seen the inside of a gym for two years. I can't stand those penny-pinching websites. Seriously, who needs an 8 year food storage supply full of processed foods you shouldn't eat anyway, just because they were a good deal? I dread over what to cook for dinner and feel terrible that some days we don't eat a single serving of fruits and vegetables. I hate cooking. I hate grocery shopping. And I hate meal planning.
Until today. Behold, the saving grace of my family's mealtimes. Well, this and my secret craze for The Food Nanny. Ever heard of her? She's this way too perky lady who's mission is to save family dinnertime with a two-week "theme night" meal planning idea. I almost can't stand to watch her she's so perky but her idea seems to really work. 
Jeff is still reeling in shock that I actually bought a cookbook. Oh, don't think I don't own any. I have a whole cupboard full of them. But this is the first time I've been counting down the days to buy one. Why you wonder? Well, my BFF in 2nd grade, Kate Jones, is one of the authors. I happened to stumble across her food blog (she has the best banana bread recipe) and we very quickly reconnected... so happy to know she still remembered who I was. I started trying out her recipes because they looked like real food, that real families with real kids and real husbands would eat. 
Eek! I was so excited to find it at Costco for only $16! Isn't it pretty? Seriously, you should all run out and buy yourself a copy. I spent a good five hours on Saturday reading through the recipes, looking at all the pictures (yes, there are pictures for every single recipe... my favorite kind of cookbook), writing out a weekly dinner menu, and figuring out what to put on the grocery list. I've even stuck to the meal plan for two whole days. Beef stroganoff on Sunday (my "comfort" food as the Food Nanny says) and White Chicken Chili tonight. And I baked my first ever carrot cake. From scratch. Grating two cups of carrots myself! All because Jeff loves carrot cake and I wanted to show him some love for all his help cleaning this weekend. Apparently, men DO see dust and sticky floors after all!
I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
Oh, and for the record, I dusted that shelf along with my bedroom, Cole's bedroom, the living room, and the dining room. And I finished all but one load of laundry, vacuumed at least three times, and watched Jeff scrub the kitchen floor spotless. It was a good weekend.
Those cobwebs, yeah, they're still there. Maybe next week.
Here's the range of emotions I've felt the past week.
Worry.
Confusion.
Protector.
Empathy.
Scared.
Irritated.
Mad.
RAGE!!!!
Guilt.
Confusion.
Sad.
RAGE!!!!
Heartbreak.
Sick.
Love.
Frustration.
Anger.
Nervous.
Confusion.
Mad.
Rage.
Sad.
Terrified.
Anger.
Tired.
Relief.
Nightmares.
Mad.
Appreciation.
Awe.
Irritated.
Grumpy.
Wonderment.
There's been a whole lot of pent up anger and grouchiness if you can't tell from my list. I think I've got a knot in my shoulder because of it. But the sun keeps coming up, there are a few bulbs trying to poke their way through all that new snow on the ground, and hopefully my family will get through this. Otherwise I'm going to need a serious massage!
We're two weeks and almost $100 into dance class. I'm starting to wonder why I said yes. But with a little help from Pearl's godparents - David and Vickie - the cheap-o dance clothes I purchased have been drastically upgraded to matching pink tights, leotard, and one very pink, very glittery tutu. She is in dancing heaven! And we (and all our furniture) are covered in sparkly, pink glitter.
I took Pearl to class a few minutes early this week so I could attempt to get some pictures of her in her new dance gear. You'll see after a few shots why I finally gave up.
"We don't climb or hang on the bar, Mom!" Ok, geez. I just wanted a picture.
This looks like a real ballet move, right? Thirty-five bucks worth too. Someone tell me yes!
First position, maybe? I really don't know.
Then you do a little spin to check out the twirling potential of your new tutu.
Now we jump from "square to square," as Pearl told me. Yes, I know those are stars. We apparently need to brush up on our shapes around here.
Then we do some sort of leg, karate-chopping action.
While Pearl was spinning, twirling, and pointing her toes, I just happened to glance over at Cole who was watching all this. The expression on his face was priceless. B.O.R.I.N.G.
Jeff has been working late all month and didn't get to pick Pearl up the first week so he broke the rules and sneaked in to watch her this week. She was more than happy to have her best friend there. And I was more than happy to get the real scoop on all the dance moves and songs she has tried to teach us with only one lesson under her belt, or is it tutu in this case? The main song/dance in question is the, "This is my left foot (as Pearl points her left foot in the air) ha ha ha ahh ha ha" repeated by the same song only with your right foot. Or something like that. But every time we copied her, she yelled at us that we were doing it wrong. It got old. Really, old.
With Jeff's spying, we actually found out Pearl was wrong. About the foot part anyway. She did have the song right. First you do this and sing the silly little song at the same time... 
Then you do this...
It's toe then heel. Or was it heel then toe? I don't remember. At any rate, it's not foot. Oh well, her teacher said she is actually doing great and was so happy to hear she remembered things from just one lesson. And you've got to admit those little ballet shoes (or are they slippers???) are just so dang cute.
Here's how we ended our little pre-class dance lesson for mom.
Now, that's my Pearl.
But then a laundry basket full of stinky clothes is spied down the hall.
Once the dirty laundry is scattered all over the hallway, it's onto Pearl's room. Cole's absolute, most favorite spot in the entire house. Seriously. If we can't find him, he's always hiding somewhere in her room. Tugging on her Princess ribbons, dumping out all the Memory games, puzzles, and books, sucking on Baby Emmie's face, and eating whatever crumbs he can find back there. 
Good thing I was almost done with the laundry at this point. Heaven knows what fun it would have been to resort all the clothes again! I love this shot because if you look really closely, you can see Cole start to be-line it back to the laundry after I drug him back to the kitchen hoping he'd stay put there for awhile.
It didn't work. 
And now he's found a partner in crime.
That sweet, innocent face will only get so far with me, buddy-boy. Fine. I melt every time I look into those blue eyes. And he knows it.
Fast forward another three hours, after I've done dishes for 45 minutes (not to mention the time I spent picking up the mess Cole previously left behind from earlier in the day) because I know how annoyed Jeff is that my new desire to cook every night means a pile of dishes in the sink - I need some one-pot wonder recipes - and we start a path of destruction all over again. Thank heavens it was contained to a single drawer in the kitchen this time.
Did I mention Cole had Kool-aid with his dinner and was buzzing, literally buzzing, at this point? Yeah, it's bedtime!
I wonder which plate will make the most noise when I bang it on the floor?
Yep, this one does. Of course the spatula, metal cup, and plastic bowls are also good options for creating as much noise as possible. 
It looks like I'll be making a trip to the store to buy every cupboard lock and safety clip I can find.
Just remind on those days when I'm tired of picking up all the messes, that I said he was totally worth it.
