Boys

I'm beginning to realize there might be some big differences between boys and girls.
Pearl would NEVER have gone for this. The real scary thing though (besides me freaking out every time I catch my boys playing this new game) is that Cole actually enjoys it.

Wish List

I know this is totally worldly but I'm hoping it will avoid the emails and phone calls from my mom, mother-in-law, and Santa Claus. The first ever posting of our Christmas Wish List, as best I can remember and think of anyway. We ran to the store tonight and had Pearl take some pictures of what she wanted for Christmas so we could send the pictures to Santa Claus. Ok, so I was really just trying to get her distracted so we could finally leave... Cole was hungry and in no mood for window shopping. It didn't last long but here were the few pictures I found on the camera.
Last year Pearl stopped opening presents because she was so disappointed that she didn't get any toys that this year, Santa better step it up big time and get her something off her list! Hint to the grandmas... Santa will be bringing her some Toy Story figures so ex-na on that idea. Here's some other things she has said she wants:
*Pink cowgirl boots (size 8)
*4 wheeler or a jeep... she can't decide
*Dress up stuff (princesses, doctor, etc)
*Strawberry "cake short" dolls
*Toy Story figures
*Barbies (ughhh... please no!)
*Grocery store, cash register, and shopping cart
*Melissa & Doug cupcakes, ice cream, birthday party cake, or pizza play food
*Art stuff
*Movies (Toy Story 2... Santa is bringing Toy Story 3.... Mulan, Pocahontas, Despicable Me, etc)
*Baby doll stuff
*Games (I thought she might like Cooties, Ants in the Pants, Go Fish)
*Books

As for Cole, he was more interested in eating the ads than looking around for toys. Here's his wish list:
*Warm, fleece footed jammies (size 9 months)
*Onesies... short and long sleeved (we LOVE Carter's brand... size 9 months)
*Toys of any kind
*Bath toys
*Books

Me:
*This candle pillar holder (well a set of two) from Pottery Barn
*Frames so I can finally hang up my family photos!
*Gift certificate to get some new clothes... casual, work, shoes... I seriously need some help in the wardrobe department
*Massage
*Maid service... I am SERIOUS!
*My formally hot life book by Stephanie Dolgoff
*Food processor
*New throw pillows for the couches

I really have no clue what Jeff wants! But here are some ideas:
*USU football helmet... yes, an actual helmet
*New dress/work shirts so he's sytlin' as Pearl says (neck size 16 inches... NOT thick shirts though!)
*Shoes... or more realistically a gift certificate to the Nike store
*Some sort of manly power tool
*Shed next to the garage
*4 wheeler
*Hardwood floors... ok so I think I'm hitting the unrealistic stuff now!

Worldy, huh? Here's hoping we're on the "good list" and this post makes it to the North Pole!

Compliment?

I'm not sure if it was a compliment or not when Pearl told me today, "Mom, I like your shirt. You look like a pirate." Maybe I should rethink my buying decisions when I find something on 75% clearance.

And speaking of fashion, we had a near fashion disaster today... at least in Pearl's eyes. When I picked her up from school she was wailing about her dress. She told me Ty had spit on her dress and got it all wet. Even after I explained that it would dry, we could change her clothes when we got home, and I'd even blow dry it with the hair dryer, she told me, "No, Mom! It's ruined FOREVER!!!"

Oh the drama.

Mental Health Day

I took a mental health day from work today. I needed it. Bad.

The last three weeks have been a constant struggle to not totally lose it. I've felt like I could have a panic attack at any moment. I've been so anxious at work, at home, everywhere. I've had way too many projects at work, worked way too many hours, gotten home way too late, and then stayed up way too late or been woke up by one or both kids way too many times.

I'm on the verge of a stay in the mental hospital.

This might sound like a cop-out but I really feel like I have my struggle with the "baby blues" and postpartum issues months after I have a baby. I feel great the first 3-4 months but just like with Pearl, I remember starting to get emotional and irrational about this time. It seems like once my "transition back to work" period is up and the new baby thing has worn off and been forgotten, that's when I start to loose it. This last month has been especially hard. I don't know how to explain it other than feeling like you could cry, scream, shake, kill someone, or pass out all at the same time. If you've never truly experienced anxiety, you just won't get it. It's like you can't shut down and yet that's how you feel... shut down, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. It really sucks.

On top of that, Pearl has just about pushed me over the edge. Whoever said "terrible two's" must not have made it to the three's. They are WAY, WAY worse! She throws a fit over everything! We fight getting ready for the day, on the way to school, when I drop her off, when I pick her up, on the way home from school, when we get home, getting ready for dinner, getting ready for bed, etc, etc, etc. She yells, I yell, Jeff yells. And oh the whining and crying! Oh my gosh! It drives me totally insane!!! I have no clue what to do about it either! I feel so stupid saying this but I have no idea how to discipline that kid. Sometimes one thing works but then the next tantrum it doesn't. Pearl refuses to listen and obey anything we tell her until all of us are about to kill each other. She has a personality that is so stubborn, defiant, and independent and yet there is this really sensitive side to her too. I'm so afraid I'm going to damage her little spirit because I can't stay in control... I was in tears about it on Tuesday after I completely lost it with her after she refused to get ready so I could get to work. I feel like all I've been doing lately is ranting and raving about how horrible she is. Which makes me feel even worse! I really don't know what to do with her. If she's like this at three what in the world will the teen years be like? Please, all you wonderful, patient moms out there what do we do? I love, love, love her, I really do. I just can't take the whining, crying, screaming, tantrums, telling me no, crusty looks, anymore.

Something new

I need something new. I'm too big of a chicken to change the background of my blog, in the fear of losing my life's history for the past two years, so I figured a new title would a good start. My problem is I'm not very creative when it comes to these sorts of things. And our last name is pretty boring so it doesn't have anything to really play off of. Plus I don't want to have our last name in the title anyway... something about potential Internet weirdos out there.

I came up with a few ideas but really, people, help me please!

• Life with a True Aggie
• True Aggies x 4
• My Formally Hot Life - ok so this is technically plagiarism because there is a book I will read someday called this but it seems so fitting!
• I used to be cool
• Ramblings of a Mom on the Edge
  

Well that's it for ideas. Pathetic huh? I should probably fess up and name my blog something that truly fits my posts like... ramblings of a mom on edge, who can't keep her house or office clean, boarding a nervous breakdown, with two cute but strong willed children and husband in tow... but that seems a bit much. Any suggestions?