This is how I spent my Friday.
Pretend to not notice Cole trying to climb his way into my bed.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Try to convince Cole to just cuddle with me and fall back asleep.
Avoid Pearl's pleas for breakfast and cartoons.
Lay on the couch and watch the kids destroy the living room. Try to decide if it's even worth the battle if Cole dumps out every single kitchen accessory we own all over the floor. Not to mention the books, computer games, and various other toys and household cleaning supplies like the broom.
Ask Pearl if she can watch Cole for three minutes while I shower.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Talk to Cole as he stands outside the bathroom door screaming for me because he has figured out I'm having a shower and have locked the door.
Try to tell myself Cole's pointing and smiling at my naked body (boob area to be exact... remember he is still nursing) as I get dressed is cute and not creepy.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Attempt to get dressed, comb my hair, and do my makeup while sorting the laundry, doing the dishes, wiping the counters off, getting Cole off the kitchen table, and finding a snack for two hungry kids.
Freak out when I see an entire bag of Goldfish spilled on the couch. Let me rephrase that. Crushed all over the couch. Into a gazillion, tiny pieces. Pick up what pieces I can then vacuum remaining Goldfish crackers.
Convince Pearl it's time to get dressed otherwise we won't have time to go to her friend's princess birthday party.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Drag two kids to the library to drop off our books and then head to Target to buy a present. Leave with a new set of Princess shoes and Sleeping Beauty crown for Pearl plus the actual birthday present we came for.
Hurry home and shove chicken nuggets down them so we get to the party on time.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Look around the mess and wonder three things. Number one. How is it possible that two kids could make such a mess in such little time? Number two. Is it even worth yelling at two kids to get it picked up before the party? Number three. Will Jeff turn around and go back to work if he comes home and sees this? He's going to think I did absolutely nothing all day.
Pick up the mess. Threaten Pearl that she will stay home if she doesn't help clean up. Tell Pearl thank you for helping.
Go to the birthday party and end up staying the entire time trying to keep Cole entertained while Pearl learned how to courtesy, play "don't eat the apple", read stories, decorate crowns, eat ice cream and have a magical time. Decide it really is worth the money to pay someone to entertain a dozen four and five-year-olds. And that I will never be a fabulous mom because I can't make a princess cake.
Leave party with a very tired, very boogery baby who desperately needs a nap.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose before putting him down for a late nap.
Plop down on the couch and wonder why on earth I am so tired and emotionally spent when I've done nothing all day. Do more laundry and pick up the living room again. Jeff told me that he doesn't care how messy the house is, as long as the living room is clean when he comes home.
Breathe a sigh of relief when Jeff comes home a bit earlier than expected. Complain about having to find something to feed everyone with again. Urgh. I hate cooking. And meal planning. But mostly cooking. Lessen cries of hunger with popsicles.
Take the kids outside to play and get dirty while I scrape together dinner. Boring tacos.
Watch Jeff start to demolish the tree stumps in the backyard. Two of them.... our cherry tree we chopped down about 2 1/2 years ago and the monster stump at least 4 feet wide along the fence line that was there when we moved in. Try to keep Cole away from the machine spewing wood chips, rocks, and dirt everywhere. 
Eat outside in the blistering heat. Smile at Jeff because he has successfully ruined the High Priest party going on in our neighbor's backyard, directly behind our backyard with the grinding. Tell Jeff over and over again thank you for finally getting those ugly tree stumps out. The backyard looks less trashy and we get to cross something off our house project list.
Give up on wiping Cole's boogery nose. Basically give up on keeping my kids clean at this point. And putting them to bed early since I'm on my own for the bedtime routine with Jeff hard at work.
Watch my children get ridiculously dirty after they play in the bed of the truck and then discover the trailer the grinder came on, which just happens to be covered in grease. Decide it's not worth the battle and to enjoy their happiness. And greasy, black feet and legs, boogery noses, sand-covered lips and hands, and pee-soaked diaper.
Force kids inside for a bubble bath. It's dark. Scrub their feet with Jeff's gritty, orange goop that he uses after fiddling with the cars. Watch the water turn colors from clear to black.
Put on jammies, feed Cole, read Pearl a story, and turn off the lights. Fold three loads of laundry and put in two more loads to get washed. Load the dishwasher again. Stay up late waiting for the last load to wash while watching about the latest Hollywood fiascos on T.V.. Decide it's not worth showering this late and go to bed.
I am exhausted. I don't know how moms do this.
Pearl is a goof. A funny, imaginative goof.
Tonight she happily explained to us that she is smart. If we cut open her brain, we could see how smart she is. Because inside her brain is a tiny person.
A tiny person? Inside her brain?
When she told us this, I panicked a bit. My family has a solid three generations of crazy. Seriously. A post for another day, but let's just say I've had my stint of "voices" in my head. So yeah, I was taken back slightly with this new development.
Apparently this tiny, little, very small person (the size of a pea or if you squeeze your thumb and pointer finger almost together, that's how small this person is) is a girl. She tells Pearl stuff but Pearl doesn't know what she says. She can't hear her because she sleeps a lot. She only gets up in the morning. If we knock on her head though, maybe we can hear her. Pearl wasn't sure what this person told her, if she made her do good things or bad things. We were kind of hoping we could use this person as the excuse for her tantrums and whining, but I guess not. Oh, and according to Pearl, this tiny person also has a tiny person inside her head. He's a boy though. And yes, very, very small. Smaller than a pea.
So we now have two tiny persons inside Pearl's head, which makes her smart. Really smart. Too smart for me because I'm not quite sure what to think about this.
It might be time to cut Cole off.
Tonight, Pearl asked her Dad how milk got in my boobs. More specifically how I "fill them up again" for Cole. Then she proceeded to tell Jeff that she was going to put milk in her boobs and they'd be "this big" as she outstretched her arms above her head.
Luckily Jeff wasn't too flustered. He told her that she couldn't have milk in her boobs until she had a baby. And that when we didn't have a baby anymore that my boobs wouldn't have milk in them either. Simple enough.
I think I'll leave all future questions for Jeff to answer.
Seven posts on Raspberry Days is a bit overwhelming so here's links to all the posts. I wouldn't want you to miss out on any of our fun.
Raspberry Days (an overview of how I avoid unpacking)
The Beach (self-explanatory)
Hollyhocks (Grandma's beautiful flowers and a photography lesson with Kurtis)
Good morning sunshine! (involves a pancake and sleepy Kurtis)
Paris Ice Caves (what to do when everyone is bored, hot, and grouchy)
The pee cliff and mud holes (mine and Jeff's adventure 4 wheeling)
Hell cards (pardon my French)
My side of the family has a wicked, super competitive, lots of cursing induced card game that has been handed down for generations.
Hell.
Imagine Solitaire on crack cocaine and you might get the gist of what goes on.
It's insane and anyone who has been privy to watch a round of Hell in our family will know what I'm talking about. Not many friends have had the privilege of learning how to play it. You have to build up decades of practice before you can even hope to compete with my Dad and his sisters. They are ridiculously fast. I swear they'd just slap the table and flip through their cards at lightning speed to intimidate you. I remember as a kid staying up until the wee hours of the morning watching my Dad and Aunts play Hell. My Grandma never played but she instigated every single game. She's quietly clean up dinner then set out the box where she kept all the playing cards on the table. She loved watching everyone laugh, slap the table, scream at each other in good competition of course, while she refilled everyone's drinks and kept the snacks coming. My normally quiet, reserved, mild mannered father would turn into this speed demon who could make a rancher cringe with some of the language that came flying out of his mouth in the heat of the game. It's still some of my fondest family memories as a kid. I love those Hell cards.... their worn out edges, bends in the middle and corners from too many games of Hell, bright colors and patterns, and breaking in phase when Grandma would add a new deck to the box. I remember every single deck. 
You know what? I've never noticed these were in a cigar box until I took a picture of them! Don't tell any of my Tobacco Prevention and Control friends. You've got to admit though, the box is pretty cool looking. I'm guessing with the "It's a boy!" sticker on it that it was either a celebration when my cousin Jason or Zac was born.
During our 4th of July Bear Lake trip, my siblings convinced me to stay up way past my bedtime to play a game of cards. Not Hell... Phase 10. But I'll get back to Hell in a minute. The teasing from my little brothers and sister that I was the "prude" sister and "no fun" got the best of me and I agreed to stay up the half the night to teach those three a lesson. I will not lose a game of cards to them. This lead to the now infamous (plug your ears), "Eat it b*&%#@$" line. Please don't think less of me! It's a genetic defect all of us Jewkes' have when cards are placed in our hands.
The game wasn't going in my favor at this point. I had sternly warned my siblings that it was late, my kids were the only ones who got up at the first break of sunlight even on vacation, and that if they didn't let me go to bed I was going to be a (plug your ears again) "b*&%#@" in the morning. Sorry Mom and Dad... I know you two definitely heard that one. But they kept up the teasing so I kept playing. I wanted to hurry up and loose so I could go to bed but by the time I got to the last phase, it was a dead heat between Kimmy, Jesse, and I. The winner of the last phase took home all bragging rights. I was so tired at this point, that when I looked at my cards and saw they were all the same color, I figured I had won! I mean can't you have a run in cards if they are all yellow? Duh! I smacked them down on the table and yelled, "Eat it b*&%#@$"! I almost got away with winning too, with the shocked, jaws-dropped to the floor, bug-eyed expressions followed by the most gut-wrenching laughter my siblings and I have ever had before. Then Jesse had to go and figure out that I had inadvertently cheated with my run of yellows instead of numbers. Kurtis was laughing so hard I thought he was going to stop breathing. He barely squeaked out, "that was the funniest thing I have ever heard. My stomach hurts so bad I can hardly breathe." My sister said I was instantly elevated to the "coolest sibling ever" status. And Jesse was just dumbfounded. Not one of my finer moments and I apologized profusely for days afterward (as well as the entire time at Raspberry Days) that I'd now corrupted my sweet 16-year-old brother and set a bad example for him. I still feel guilty about it and really hope my parents didn't hear that line at 2:30 in the morning!
Back to Raspberry Days now.
For fear of profanity in front of small children, we opted to not play Phase 10 and instead play Hell. What were we thinking? The game's name in and of itself should have been a clue that we'd be no different playing than older generations in our family. And while no "eat it...." line came out, my siblings eagerly awaited my every word. Don't get me wrong there was plenty of cursing to be had by all, except Kurtis... he's going to be exalted someday. Jesse dubbed a classic Jenny move when I'd get frustrated. I'd always smack the table with the card I'd wanted to play at least three times. Hands were flying. Cards were flying. Snacks were flying. And it was a lot of fun. We actually kept score, mostly because Kurtis is a math whiz, and Kimmy and I beat the boys. The Hell card genes must be handed down on the x chromosome.
I can't tell you how much fun it was to play with just my brothers and sister. We never do that. The last 8 months have really been hard on our family and sucked a lot. We've had feelings we'd never thought we'd have towards each other, and this was a way to release some of the tension and remember that through it all, we're still family.
Jeff and I always take advantage of free babysitters when we go to Bear Lake and sneak away for a 4 wheeler ride. We've also decided that we have to take a new trail when we go. We got bored with the same old scenery and Jeff needed a bit more of a challenge for his riding experience. Me? I'm usually content to putter along the same trails where I know I won't die but I'm really glad we took a new trail. It was gorgeous and so much fun to go with my hubby. Even if he is a bit crazy and the thought crosses my mind a minimum of three times that I might have to raise my kids alone. 
Jeff and my Dad traversed all over the mountains, looking for new trails for us to take the day before our ride. I'm glad they had so much fun because Jeff took me on a new trail which was beautiful. The trail went right up to the "pee" cliff and a "psychedelic" tree. Followed by the most fun mud puddles I've ever raced through.
Let me explain.
First, the pee cliff. Last year Jeff and my youngest brother, Kurtis, took a seven hour ride (not intentional) all over the mountains, coasting on fumes all the way back to the property. Like all over. After seven hours, they inevitably had to pee. And as boys are better equipped for a spontaneous pee, they happened to tinkle off a cliff. Yep, a cliff. I don't get it. On our ride today, Jeff peed off that same cliff for good humor. I was jealous because I'd been holding it forever and knew I had to continue to hold it over bumps, rocks, and several steep climbs until we got back to the trailer. Yeah, I barely made it.
Disclaimer... Jeff isn't really peeing here. I did spare him some privacy without the camera pointed in his direction while he peed off the cliff. This photo was staged. He also pointed out several places for me to squat over a cliff if I couldn't hold it any longer. Nice, huh?
The pee cliff in all it's glory.
Second, that psychedelic tree. Near the pee cliff, there was this huge, dead tree right in the middle of a small clearing. It was pretty interesting to look at. I'm guessing it got zapped by lightning. Anyway, my Dad took a picture of it on his phone and when he showed it to me, the colors were all messed up. It was actually purple in the picture and the really weird thing about it, was none of the other pictures on his phone were messed up. Weird.
Third, the mud puddles. The most awesome fun I think I've had on a 4 wheeler. Seriously. The picture doesn't do them justice. Plus, this was the last of the mud puddles and is mostly just mud, no puddles. 
We hit the first one, the biggest one, and I'll admit I stopped and hesitated a bit. I'm not as daring as Jeff and get nervous at the thought of having to go up on two wheels to get over something and tipping over. After watching Jeff drive through it and knowing I'd have to give it a bit of gas to get out of it (it was kind of deep and you had to climb up a bit out of it), I had two thoughts go through my head.... "I can't do this. I'm going to get stuck or tip over...." and then.... "Just gun it as fast as you can. It might be fun." I'm glad I went with my second thought. I came cruising through the first puddle, crazy-drivered my way through the second, and then flipped mud everywhere coming through the third. Jeff looked at me in shock as I spun back around to do it all over again, laughing the entire time. Later he told me he was just hoping I'd follow him close enough that he could spray me but then when I zoomed back for more, that it was HOT! Apparently the way to turn my husband on is to have 500 horsepower between my legs and mud all over me :)
Jeff's turn now.
But we weren't the only ones who had a blast on the ATVs. Pearl and Cole love them! We catch Fern climbing his way onto them almost daily (yes, at home while they are parked in the garage too). He's too little to go on many rides and is so jealous when his sister gets to go. Jeff took Pearl on a rid every night. And they always came back laughing and bragging about all the wildlife they'd seen. I need to go with them the next time because in the span of just a few days, they'd seen wild turkeys (I did see some baby turkeys), cranes, deer, and a moose. Yes, a moose! We were all a bit jealous, especially Kurtis who had gone with them two of the three rides and didn't get to see the moose. My Dad had a blast on his ride with Jeff and Jesse, Emily, and Ruby had fun on their ride. My mom and sister were the only ones who didn't go... my Mom was bummed. She likes them as much as anyone.
When everyone is bored, tired, hot, grouchy, bored, tired, hot, and grouchy... catch my drift... you do something new, exciting, and fun.
In our case, we don't pack up for the beach. We don't go 4 wheeling (although Jeff would have welcomed a men only drive I'm sure at this point). We don't continue to eat more sugary treats. We listen to our bossy big sister (me) and get in the truck and go for a drive. Even if one of the little girls is giving you the look of death as you turn off her movie and tell her to get in the truck now! Sorry, Emily. You weren't around and it had to be done.
Our adventure lead us to the Paris Ice Caves. Jeff and I were the only ones who had been there before and to be quite honest, we were afraid everyone would be even more bored, tired, and grouchy (we knew they would cool off in the caves so hot wasn't a worry once we got there) when they saw the actual caves. If you're a world traveler with high expectations of scenery then this might not be the best use of your time when you're trying to get everyone to stop being bored and grumpy.
Check out the wildlife! They were everywhere and in no mood to get out of the road. The kids were both asleep for the drive to the ice caves and missed out on all the cattle. But on the way back, Cole excitedly pointed out every cow he saw with by saying "neigh" (we're still working on what a cow says) and "that that that" (what's that?).
Kurtis walking along the trail to the cave. Well, here he is walking back out of the cave. It really is amazing that this tiny cave, smack dab in the middle of the mountains. I'm sure the pioneers were every so grateful to stumble upon it. What a blessing to find something where they could keep food cold year round. And I"m sure they had some fun parties in the summer with fresh snow and ice.
So typical that Ruby is in no mood to actually go on the adventure but when we get there, she's the one who has the most fun. Pearl was excited to go to a cave when we left Bear Lake but once we got there, decided she wasn't much in the mood for cold and walking along this little bridge over the icy water. Jeff took her and Cole out of the cave and into the warmth while I continued to explore a bit. The next thing I know though, is the three of them are now perched at the top of the caves looking down. It slightly freaked me out.
Don't even think about it Mom. Luckily my Mom throws like a girl. But Kurtis about got me right square in the butt.
I'm sure my family gets super annoyed with all my family shots. Oh well. Now we have proof we were all there and had fun. We missed Emily... she had to go home for a few hours to get some work done.
Hmmm... didn't we come here with two kids?
Oh, there's Cole!
Now we have a family picture.
My sister must have super human strength. Don't let go Kimmy!
Pearl and Ruby had fun exploring as "adventurers" looking for rocks, flowers, bugs, and things to climb on. They happily posed for pictures and were eager to show me how to be an explorer. Pearl found a rock she just had to have so we loaded it up in the truck and took it home with us. It's now sitting in our flower bed. And poor little Ru-bug. She had a nasty mosquito bite on her forehead that kept getting bigger and bigger. Her poor little face and eyes were swollen.
No explorers.
One explorer.
Two explorers.
The kids and puppies didn't want to leave so we put them in the back of the truck to get some of the wiggles out before we drove back to Bear Lake. Cole was being so funny. He'd squeal and then laugh and do his muscles trick then repeat with some more happy squealing. There was even some licking of the dusty truck. Gross. 
It really was a beautiful area. We could yell and hear our echos, which Pearl thought was really fun. The wild flowers were out in bloom and the trees were green. It was quiet and peaceful. We were the only ones at the cave. The last time I went was in Young Women's and the place was packed. It really did help everyone calm down and cool down.
Why do boys always have to climb on the highest, most jagged rocks possible?
Jeff always teases me when we drive anywhere that one day he's going to stop at every single historical marker there is. It's really a tease directed at my Mom who loves to stop at all these little historical markers - ok, so it's really because she always makes us stop at Cove Fort if we're down that way even though we've all been there and don't have any desire to go there again. So on the way back, we stopped at the Paris, Idaho Tabernacle. It was a beautiful building. Too bad it was just closing when we got there.
It was a good adventure. And I think the next time I tell my family that we're leaving and going to have fun, they'll believe me.
Ask Pearl if she can watch Cole for three minutes while I shower.
Convince Pearl it's time to get dressed otherwise we won't have time to go to her friend's princess birthday party.
Leave party with a very tired, very boogery baby who desperately needs a nap.
Eat outside in the blistering heat. Smile at Jeff because he has successfully ruined the High Priest party going on in our neighbor's backyard, directly behind our backyard with the grinding. Tell Jeff over and over again thank you for finally getting those ugly tree stumps out. The backyard looks less trashy and we get to cross something off our house project list.
Force kids inside for a bubble bath. It's dark. Scrub their feet with Jeff's gritty, orange goop that he uses after fiddling with the cars. Watch the water turn colors from clear to black.
Put on jammies, feed Cole, read Pearl a story, and turn off the lights. Fold three loads of laundry and put in two more loads to get washed. Load the dishwasher again. Stay up late waiting for the last load to wash while watching about the latest Hollywood fiascos on T.V.. Decide it's not worth showering this late and go to bed.
