Pretend to not notice Cole trying to climb his way into my bed.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Try to convince Cole to just cuddle with me and fall back asleep.
Avoid Pearl's pleas for breakfast and cartoons.
Lay on the couch and watch the kids destroy the living room. Try to decide if it's even worth the battle if Cole dumps out every single kitchen accessory we own all over the floor. Not to mention the books, computer games, and various other toys and household cleaning supplies like the broom.
Ask Pearl if she can watch Cole for three minutes while I shower.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Talk to Cole as he stands outside the bathroom door screaming for me because he has figured out I'm having a shower and have locked the door.
Try to tell myself Cole's pointing and smiling at my naked body (boob area to be exact... remember he is still nursing) as I get dressed is cute and not creepy.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Attempt to get dressed, comb my hair, and do my makeup while sorting the laundry, doing the dishes, wiping the counters off, getting Cole off the kitchen table, and finding a snack for two hungry kids.
Freak out when I see an entire bag of Goldfish spilled on the couch. Let me rephrase that. Crushed all over the couch. Into a gazillion, tiny pieces. Pick up what pieces I can then vacuum remaining Goldfish crackers.
Convince Pearl it's time to get dressed otherwise we won't have time to go to her friend's princess birthday party.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Drag two kids to the library to drop off our books and then head to Target to buy a present. Leave with a new set of Princess shoes and Sleeping Beauty crown for Pearl plus the actual birthday present we came for.
Hurry home and shove chicken nuggets down them so we get to the party on time.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose.
Look around the mess and wonder three things. Number one. How is it possible that two kids could make such a mess in such little time? Number two. Is it even worth yelling at two kids to get it picked up before the party? Number three. Will Jeff turn around and go back to work if he comes home and sees this? He's going to think I did absolutely nothing all day.
Pick up the mess. Threaten Pearl that she will stay home if she doesn't help clean up. Tell Pearl thank you for helping.
Go to the birthday party and end up staying the entire time trying to keep Cole entertained while Pearl learned how to courtesy, play "don't eat the apple", read stories, decorate crowns, eat ice cream and have a magical time. Decide it really is worth the money to pay someone to entertain a dozen four and five-year-olds. And that I will never be a fabulous mom because I can't make a princess cake.
Leave party with a very tired, very boogery baby who desperately needs a nap.
Wipe Cole's boogery nose before putting him down for a late nap.
Plop down on the couch and wonder why on earth I am so tired and emotionally spent when I've done nothing all day. Do more laundry and pick up the living room again. Jeff told me that he doesn't care how messy the house is, as long as the living room is clean when he comes home.
Breathe a sigh of relief when Jeff comes home a bit earlier than expected. Complain about having to find something to feed everyone with again. Urgh. I hate cooking. And meal planning. But mostly cooking. Lessen cries of hunger with popsicles.
Take the kids outside to play and get dirty while I scrape together dinner. Boring tacos.
Watch Jeff start to demolish the tree stumps in the backyard. Two of them.... our cherry tree we chopped down about 2 1/2 years ago and the monster stump at least 4 feet wide along the fence line that was there when we moved in. Try to keep Cole away from the machine spewing wood chips, rocks, and dirt everywhere.
Eat outside in the blistering heat. Smile at Jeff because he has successfully ruined the High Priest party going on in our neighbor's backyard, directly behind our backyard with the grinding. Tell Jeff over and over again thank you for finally getting those ugly tree stumps out. The backyard looks less trashy and we get to cross something off our house project list.
Give up on wiping Cole's boogery nose. Basically give up on keeping my kids clean at this point. And putting them to bed early since I'm on my own for the bedtime routine with Jeff hard at work.
Watch my children get ridiculously dirty after they play in the bed of the truck and then discover the trailer the grinder came on, which just happens to be covered in grease. Decide it's not worth the battle and to enjoy their happiness. And greasy, black feet and legs, boogery noses, sand-covered lips and hands, and pee-soaked diaper.
Force kids inside for a bubble bath. It's dark. Scrub their feet with Jeff's gritty, orange goop that he uses after fiddling with the cars. Watch the water turn colors from clear to black.
Put on jammies, feed Cole, read Pearl a story, and turn off the lights. Fold three loads of laundry and put in two more loads to get washed. Load the dishwasher again. Stay up late waiting for the last load to wash while watching about the latest Hollywood fiascos on T.V.. Decide it's not worth showering this late and go to bed.
I am exhausted. I don't know how moms do this.
3 comments:
You don't have to know how to do it. You just have to do it. And it looks to me like you are doing a pretty good job of it.
Sounds like a good day!! The best part of being a mom is you get to wake up the next morning and do it all again :)
You crack me up. It's just nice to hear that you get my life:)
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