'Cause he's a baby

Pearl is constantly telling us what Cole can and can't do "cause he's a baby." For example, he can't eat popcorn since he doesn't have teeth "cause he's a baby." And he can't go down the slide at the playground "cause he's a baby." But if you ask Pearl what he can/does do "cause he's a baby" she will usually reply with something about how much he "poops his pants," or that he wears diapers, or that he cries a lot. And from the video, it's debatable about whether Cole can or can't talk. I say he can talk but no one has been around to verify the cooing is real. I couldn't resist throwing this picture in here. Jeff decided to slick back Cole's golden locks and dress him up as a missionary. Cole did not like the new do... here's hoping the Church changes the dress code when Cole is old enough to go on a mission.

We've survived month one fairly intact. Last week was really, really bad! I never knew you could be so mentally and physically exhausted or cry so much for that matter. Cole's always made weird grunting noises but they started to get worse. He would grunt, squirm, and then start gagging, choking, coughing, and make these high-pitched noises. It would wake me up at night and I'd debate about whether to get up and check on him because he always made funny noises. Then he started to get fussy, really fussy, all day long and it wouldn't end. No matter what I did or where I put him he looked miserable. He wouldn't lay on his back for more than 10 minutes before screaming. When I'd try to nurse him he'd just pull away screaming and I could hear him spit/throw up but he'd always swallow it back down. The few times he did actually spit up, it would come out his nose.

After three days of crying nearly nonstop (both Cole and myself) and coming within seconds of having a total meltdown, I called the doctor to see if he had acid reflux. There was just no way this had to be normal. Nor could I hold a baby all day long when Pearl needed to be taken care of. My suspicion was confirmed. Cole has a really bad case of acid reflux. Apparently not throwing/spitting up makes it really bad and dangerous because he could have swallowed it into his lungs and drowned or gotten pneumonia (at which point I freaked out for all the times I didn't go check on him in the middle of the night when I'd hear him gag). I'm pretty sure Pearl had reflux too but because she was a "happy spitter" the doctor never worried about her. We got a prescription for Prevacid and we're all hoping it helps, although I was warned that we might have to see a GI specialist. The doctor also told me to put him on his tummy to sleep because he can't or won't spit up. Of course working for the health department I was totally freaked out about putting him on his stomach. Now I wasn't sleeping because one, I had to get up and feed a hungry baby and two, I was paranoid beyond description if he didn't drown in his own stomach acid he'd surely suffocate from being on his stomach. Luckily Cole is really strong and has no problem lifting up his head and squirming around. Now that he's on his tummy, he is sleeping great - up to a five hour stretch at night. Napping is another story though... why is it that neither one of my kids have ever taken good naps in the day?

I have no idea how moms do this, especially with more than one kid. Jeff keeps telling me because I'm not working or in school and that it's summer, that I'm on summer vacation. Yeah right... vacations aren't supposed to be spent crying or trying to keep your eyes open so you don't drop your baby because you are a zombie. Not to mention spending your "relaxing" time debating whether you should have a nap, do the dishes, or throw in some laundry so everyone has clean clothes. My brother had reflux really bad and my mom said she held it together for about nine months and then totally lost it. I was thinking, I've got to make it nine months?! Last week I seriously thought I couldn't go on. I was so tired and worn out. Pearl was bored out of her mind at home because Cole was so demanding and I was a basket case. She is being such a good sport about the whole thing and patiently waits for my attention while I try to calm Cole down. Jeff helped out a ton too, taking Cole as soon as he got home from work and walking him outside to calm him down. I feel like the worse mom, not only because I'm totally helpless to make my adorable baby feel better but because my sweet little girl is ignored all day long. I just can't stand to hear him cry and yet get so frustrated that all my efforts seem to do so little to help. I asked Jeff to give him a blessing which has helped me calm down and realize I'm doing all I can. So if anyone has advice on how to survive a baby with bad reflux, please let me know!